Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
One of the things I started hearing people talk about at AA meetings was this “god-sized hole” in us that could never be filled. Never enough alcohol. Never enough drugs. Never enough money. Never enough sex. Never enough love. In all my life, I never knew I was trying to fill a “god-sized hole” with anything and everything. I thought I was happy.
Sunday, June 14th, 2009
The book I’m reading called “The Intimacy Struggle” by Janet G. Woititz says, “We want to be close to another human being because we don’t want to be lonely, feel afraid, and feel unlovable. These are things we felt as children and carried with us into adulthood.”
Sunday, June 14th, 2009
Why did I try so hard all the time to convince myself that I was living the life I wanted? Is happiness so elusive that we’ll do anything to get it? And in the process of doing anything to get it, we only get a mirage of happiness, an illusion of happiness, but since our lives are so artificial, so much self-made fantasy, we seem to be just fine with the mirage. It never ends. And one day, we simply can’t tell the difference anymore. One day, we don’t want to know the difference anymore.
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
What I learned at AA is that alcoholics will substitute other things for alcohol. In some way, I think I have substituted my relationships for alcohol. I couldn’t manage my drinking, and I couldn’t manage my relationships any better, but I didn’t know it. I knew after my second AA meeting that I had more than a drinking problem.
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